The Packer Pundit

Packers Evade 3rd Straight Loss
Remain Undefeated During Bye Week
By Packer Pundit / Patrick 'Evil Eye' Stuckey

"This is the kind of week we've been pointing towards since day one of mini-camp. The whole team contributed to the success we had today, not just one player. There is No 'I' in team... however, there is an 'm' and and 'e'. Hopefully we can build on today's progress and not lose anymore games all year." -- Head Coach Mike 'M&M' McCarthy

The Green Bay Packers took their 1-4 record, limping into the bye week, and amazingly were able to escape without a loss. It took some late, 4th quarter heroics and an offense that did not turn the ball over to ekk it out. Coach Mike 'M&M' McCarthy, singled out starting QB Brett Favre's dogged determination as well as his lack of a late, drive killing, interception or fumble, as one of the keys to the game. "We worked on that all week," Said M&M, "Holding onto the ball and not turning it over. I was happy to see all are hard work playing out during the game."

Quarterback Brett Favre was asked his thoughts on today's stunning comeback. "I was real proud of the guys today. Every pass I threw was caught and we got a first down everytime we ran the ball... oh and I'm not sure if I'm going to play this year or retire. I'm still waiting for Deanna and the family to tell me what their thoughts are. Though I am leaning towards one or the other."






Defense Stiffens During Bye Week
Big D has Big Day with No Big Plays
Packer Pundit
Patrick 'the goose' Stuckey
Coach Sanders has had many a long night in the offices of the Packer's coaching staff. He has agonized over the amount of long... big touch down scoring plays... and lack of tackling, that has plagued this years team. "I was at a loss. I mean... we did everything that effin' little jerk Pat Stuckey asked us to do and we still gave up big plays. I mean... we even cut Ahmad Carroll just to satisfy his rabid 'blood lust' for a sacrificial lamb to blame everything on... and we still gave up big plays. That's why today's game means so very much to me. We pulled together and just opened up a can of whoop touche' on them. I can't wait to see what that jerk wad Stuckey has to say now. I bet he's nothing but a..." (Edit) Unfortunately the interview with Coach Sanders was cut short. But what I'm sure he meant to say was how very much he and the players appreciate the fan support they receive from all the many bloggers out there who obviously know more about football then the entire coaching staff and front office and would gladly compare their one and a half seasons of playing Junior Varsity football for the Hollidaysburg Golden Tigers against any of their so called combined 200+ years of NFL experience. Oh... and he would also add that anyone that would question a bloggers 'gravatus' about football is a big fat doody head! So there!





One to Build On...
And Laura Quinn-Hawk is a babe!
Packer Pundit / Patrick 'the stalker' Stuckey
What can I add to the accolades of yesterdays huge non-loss! It was like the other team didn't even show up! Regardless, the pack was a jugernaut of offense and defense as they dominated both sides of the ball... literally! Being that this is a blog... and that blogger's opinions are like noses... everybody has one (well except for Michael Jackson)... it behooves me to point out the following things:

-- We need cheerleaders! Preferably ones with nice little bootys. See I'm a booty man. I'm not all about the female frontal appendages (breasticles)... I'm all about the junk in da trunk. I'm talkin' JLo here... not Pamela Andeson. If I were Ted Thompson I'd keep my eye on this girl...

Bethany 'Drop it Like it's Hot' Smith, University of South Carolina Gamecocks. This girl is just full of potential. Her assets are greatly needed on our sidelines cheering on our green and gold gladiators (there's a joke in that gladiator part but I'm not going there). I think Thompson should draft Bethany with our number one pick this year. I can't wait to see what Mel Kiper has to say about that pick.


-- Okay... maybe I was a bit hasty just diss'n on the busty babes. It's only proper I bring the love for the boobacious babes out there. I too can appreciate a womans upper half and have on occasion perused that area in the past. How about we select UCLA's senior varsity cheerleader Busty BaVoom in the 2nd round. Busty has been at the forefront of cheering and is credited with the famous mantra... 'First and 10 do it aga... ummm some more! Yeah Team! (pssst... Courtney... did we hit a home run thingie on that play?)

-- Lastly... it's been 2 days since I last pointed out what a hawtie A. J. Hawk's wife is. Let's draft Laura in the thrid round and remind A. J. why and what he's playing for each week. I know I'd stay focused... ummm what was I saying again???







Packers Sign Free Agent Kicker
Not happy with the kicking styles of Dave Rayner (besides tieing the record 54 yarder... what have ya done for us lately). Packer GM Teddy T brought in Russian free agent kicker Longan Farkickoff. Longan set the record for 99 consecutive field goals with the Sieberian Huskies of the Far far far East Divison. "Am very happy to be kicking foostballs for packerteam." A delighted Farkickoff said.

Underdog Packers Over come Odds
The Green Bay Packers shocked Vegas and the betting world by not losing this past bye week. As a matter of fact, not only did they Not lose, but going into yesterday's bye week, the 1-4 Packers were a 3 point underdog. They easily covered.

Hawk Happy Hubby
Green Bay Packer Linebacker A. J. Hawk says married life agrees with him. "I couldn't be happier... just look at my lovely wife Laura... she's a babe! I just wish bloggers out there on the internet would write more stories about her and post more of her pictures. As to being married to such a beautiful woman... I give it two thumbs up!"

Fear This!
Coach M&M hopes yesterdays non-loss will start a trend in Packernation of opponents fearing the Lambeau mystique once again. He liken's yesterdays total domination to that of the 90's rap wars between Dr. Dree's Death-Row Records and P Diddy's Bad Boy Label. "We need to bring it dawg! We need to show dem posers not to diss us in our own crib... fershizzle! Straight up boo... we 'bout to bust a cap... Representin' GB town... Holla!"

Packers Seek Answers in O-Line
After 5 weeks and a 1-4 start, the Packers are ready to close the book on the 'Zone' blocking scheme implimented this spring. Instead, the Packers are going with the 'Ballet' blocking scheme and bringing in new O-Line coach, Percy Litndaloafers. The Zone blocking scheme relies on fast lineman, hitting the hole fast and using a series of cut blocks and dives towards the opposing defenders to open up a zone or hole for the runner to hit quickly. The Ballet scheme uses a series of Pirouettes and Grand Jete's (or leaps) to dazzle the defense.


And now for the real news...